When prospective parents, as well as birth parents, learn about open adoption, they often wonder if pursuing it is a good idea. The answer to this question probably depends on the people involved. In some cases, open adoption can be a very positive thing. In other cases, it may not be. Clearly one size does not fit all.
Open Adoption and Birth Parents
Birth parents should ask themselves several hard questions:
Am I able to visit my child and yet completely respect the fact that the adoptive parents are his or her only parents?
Am I able to act like a relative or a family friend and not confuse the child by acting like I am something more than that?
Would I be able to go on with the rest of my life in a healthier manner if I had no contact at all with the child or the adoptive family?
How do I think I would feel 18 years from now, if the child wants to meet with me?
These are not easy questions, and it is a very good idea for birth parents to seek professional counseling to help to find the right answers.
Open Adoption and Adoptive Parents
Adoptive parents also must ask themselves some hard questions:
Are these birth parents the type of people I want a continuing relationship with?
How would I feel about inviting her (and possibly him) into my home in the future?
Do I have sufficient respect - and even gratitude - for the birth parents that I am willing to make the effort?
Prospective parents who are in the process of meeting with a social worker for their Home Study Report can usually discuss these questions, as well as other open adoption scenarios and options, with the social worker.
If you have further questions about open adoption, please contact me at [email protected], or call to schedule a complimentary consultation at 703-361-5051. Appointments may be held in person or over the phone.