As your conversations with the birth mother continue, you will want to work through several important issues.
In your initial discussions with the birth mother, it is probable that at some point you will talk about what contact or information she would like to have in the future. You should be prepared for this discussion.
Early on in your discussions with the birth mother, you will need to come to a point where you and she have a preliminary understanding that she intends to place her child with you and that you intend to proceed with the adoption of that child. You should not be pushy about this. She will need some time before she comes to that point. Because you are undertaking both a financial and an emotional burden, however, in your conversation you want to be very clear about the fact that you cannot proceed to the next steps until this understanding is reached.
It is very likely that the birth mother may not live in Virginia. Because people travel between states so frequently, it comes as something of a surprise to many people that this makes a big difference in adoption. Adoption law is almost entirely state law, and differences in the laws between the states are very substantial. The fact that the birth mother lives in another state does not jeopardize the adoption, but it does add a significant layer of additional laws to be complied with.