A birth father may also reflect attitudes which are common in our society and which cause him not to consent. There are many people in our society who believe that adoption is always a bad thing because it terminates the legal relationship between a child and a birth parent. They believe that this relationship is somehow always a good thing for the child. Also, a growing percentage of our population are comfortable with out of wedlock births and children being raised by relatives other than parents. That may have been their own experience and the experience of other friends and family members.
It should be remembered that the birth father is going through his own struggles concerning the pregnancy. While those struggles may be different in many respects from the struggles the birth mother is going through, they are nonetheless real.
The most important thing to remember about birth fathers is that in Virginia they have exactly the same rights as birth mothers. This is not true in many other states, and it surprises people who do not think that it should be the case. Parental rights follow biology. A man who fathers a child during a one night stand has full parental rights. But a man who takes care of a child, not knowing that he is not the biological father, has very few rights with respect to the child. So, the birth father must be treated with the same concern as the birth mother.
Because of the important ethical concern that babies not be bought and sold, each state has adopted certain laws to govern what types of payments may be made in connection with an adoption.
It is important for the birth mother to complete a Social and Medical History form. If it is possible, the birth father should complete one as well. These forms are designed to give you as much information as possible about the genetic and medical history of the birth parents. They are also designed to enable the birth parents to disclose any substances which they ingested that may affect the child. These substances include alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs. The doctor may want to review these forms prior to delivery. You will want to keep them on file, as you may need this information later in your child's life to enable his or her pediatrican to give proper treatment.